[Want is good. Want is great. Wanted is.. less good, and that trips her for a second, but it's still miles better than the mask just seeing her as another thing to hoard and figuring out a way to make her add herself to the collection willingly. And between the two of them the blush factor in the room is probably enough to power one of the engines, but hell with it. Might as well get it out of the way while she's already tripping over her words, each one so weighted with hope and more than a month's wort of confused emotions that they clunk.]
I still want it. And if you do too, I wanna try.
[To get back to where they were, to figure out what they're even doing - or to not figure it out and make it work anyway.]
[It's not that want was wrong, it's that she wasn't asking about the present at the time and he went and blurted it anyway. She's asking about it now, though, and that word is suddenly appropriate again, should be easy to say or agree with except that he's sort of blown away that she gave him a want in return. Even with a lot of the avoidance explained, the logic hasn't quite sunk in. So his brows go up and he cocks his head - no way, really? - realizes it's a stupid question and this is no time to let an opportunity slip away, nods and bites his cheek. Yeah. Yeah he does. Despite the fact that they have no idea what the fuck they're doing.
The sap in him wants to kiss her even though that's probably a horrible idea, given how high he's riding already, his ridiculously strong reaction in the Gardens earlier. He pulls his hand so that he can thumb at her lip, fingers cupping her face, spends a long moment looking at her mouth before he lifts his eyes to hers again. Unsure.]
[He looks almost stunned for a moment there, just long enough for her to get a really good run-up to kicking herself, but then he nods and doesn't say anything and holds her face like that, and wow.
Her eyes close and her mouth opens, lips parted against the press of his thumb, and... nothing happens. She opens her eyes just in time to see him raise his, to catch that look of uncertainty in them and Jesus Christ her first kiss ever didn't make her feel this tangled up and nervous and it's enough to push her back into her old pattern of covering up with bravado, so:]
[Bravado that he doesn't match except for a single tap of his thumb on her lower lip. Can't, if he actually wants to kiss her and make sure it's normal, can't afford the distraction. He keeps looking at her and yeah it's probably weird that he's staring her down while she can see that he's steeling himself, but it's better that she knows he thinks he needs to be cautious about this, right.]
Don't move.
[A little upswing on the end that makes it sound more like a question than an order, a don't move, please? as he cups her face in both hands and leans forward, halting and careful, noses over her cheek and finally presses his lips against hers with a sigh. A warm, almost shy brush of a thing that he lets linger before he swallows, nods against her forehead with his thumbs still pressing against her cheekbones and his fingers sliding toward the nape of her neck. Whispers with his lips still at the edge of her mouth and his eyes barely open.]
[Don't move, he says, and she doesn't. Stills under his touch and doesn't even breathe in the gentle cradle of his hands, which is really of no consequence because that lingering, tender touch would steal it away anyhow.
When his lips leave hers she keeps her eyes closed, lashes sooty against her freckled cheeks and a smile curving against the near press of his mouth. Inhale swift and shaky and the exhale slow, thinking it wants to be a sigh or a laugh and not quite making it to either.]
Okay.
[A pause, and then that laugh finally forms, warm and welcoming. No bravado here, anymore.]
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no subject
I still want it. And if you do too, I wanna try.
[To get back to where they were, to figure out what they're even doing - or to not figure it out and make it work anyway.]
no subject
The sap in him wants to kiss her even though that's probably a horrible idea, given how high he's riding already, his ridiculously strong reaction in the Gardens earlier. He pulls his hand so that he can thumb at her lip, fingers cupping her face, spends a long moment looking at her mouth before he lifts his eyes to hers again. Unsure.]
no subject
Her eyes close and her mouth opens, lips parted against the press of his thumb, and... nothing happens. She opens her eyes just in time to see him raise his, to catch that look of uncertainty in them and Jesus Christ her first kiss ever didn't make her feel this tangled up and nervous and it's enough to push her back into her old pattern of covering up with bravado, so:]
You gonna kiss me or what?
no subject
Don't move.
[A little upswing on the end that makes it sound more like a question than an order, a don't move, please? as he cups her face in both hands and leans forward, halting and careful, noses over her cheek and finally presses his lips against hers with a sigh. A warm, almost shy brush of a thing that he lets linger before he swallows, nods against her forehead with his thumbs still pressing against her cheekbones and his fingers sliding toward the nape of her neck. Whispers with his lips still at the edge of her mouth and his eyes barely open.]
... okay.
no subject
When his lips leave hers she keeps her eyes closed, lashes sooty against her freckled cheeks and a smile curving against the near press of his mouth. Inhale swift and shaky and the exhale slow, thinking it wants to be a sigh or a laugh and not quite making it to either.]
Okay.
[A pause, and then that laugh finally forms, warm and welcoming. No bravado here, anymore.]
Thank you.