handelaar: (brooding)
Nederland ([personal profile] handelaar) wrote2012-10-02 11:52 pm
Entry tags:

not here.







CAO » 002 » 026
NED


text | voice | video | action
sweetmotherofgod: (so Heather gets the front page)

[personal profile] sweetmotherofgod 2013-01-02 09:25 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not gonna try and take it back. It's yours.

[Lightly, like it's mean to be a joke. And it is, mostly, except for the tiny worry that he actually does think that, and that's what the don't means. As soon as she's said it she sort of regrets it, because if that's not what he meant it might be kind of offensive and if it is it might be kind of upsetting anyway, but. Well. It's out now. On her knee, her hand curls in on itself. It's good that he could take his hand away like that, right? Normal. Something to be glad for.

Her eyebrows raise and then lower in concern when he continues. He'd mentioned something before, but she hadn't really expected anything to happen about it, given the state he was in. This could be awkward.]


No rush.

[No, that sounds like she doesn't care. Ugh.]

I mean, I know that's gotta be hard for you right now...

sweetmotherofgod: (God has cursed me I think)

[personal profile] sweetmotherofgod 2013-01-02 10:24 am (UTC)(link)
[Oh, hell. None of this is turning out how she wanted, and for a moment she closes her eyes and just gives a tiny shake of her head.]

You're right. Sorry. I just -

[wanted to see him happy. Not just for him to be happy, which at least would be respectable, but selfishly wanted to see it, and maybe find a moment or two to pretend everything was okay. She drags a slow breath in and a firm huff out, opens her eyes and nods at him.]

Okay. Let's do this.

[Another time she'd wink at him or pump her fist, make a joke of the weird intensity of it, but she's really not up to it. Can't paint a layer of cockiness and bravado over it, so what he gets is raw and awkward sincerity. If he needs it, then yes. Of course.]
sweetmotherofgod: (i have no control over myself)

[personal profile] sweetmotherofgod 2013-01-03 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
[It takes her a second, but when she catches his meaning she brightens.]

Yeah?

[And then there's a moment where she looks from him to the bike and back again because there are a whole bunch of reasons it's a terrible idea. She doesn't even like being in a car driven by someone else, let alone being on a bike he's never ridden before and hasn't had a chance to get used to and she can think of about five ways off the top of her head it could get weird, but... fuck it. She wants to help, she wants to see him ride the bike, and no matter how unhelpful it might be right now she wants to be close to him. So she nods, gives him a lopsided smile and tweaks at his collar like it's crooked.

It isn't.]


I'd love that.
sweetmotherofgod: (i loved you!)

[personal profile] sweetmotherofgod 2013-01-03 06:35 am (UTC)(link)
[He's not fooling her. It doesn't matter how brief that look of joy is, it's enough to light her up in answer because that right there - despite the mask and the fights and her tears and anger and his greed and paranoia and how fucked it all is - that look is everything she wanted. And he's a picture on it, the smile on his face and those long, long legs that she'd been a little worried about because she'd had to communicate his height with guesses and a hand held over her head in approximation. It's perfect. He might hide all his feelings behind a stony expression but it's just another variation of what she does with anger and snark, and right now she's definitely not buying what he's selling.

She settles in front of him with a complete lack of elegance, laughing at the skippity-hop movement she has to make to do so and the fact that she's really got no idea what she's doing.]


Alright, we good?

[Am I doing this right is what she means, but she's at least temporarily pleased enough not to think on that any further and listen to all the different ways in which the answer is no.]
sweetmotherofgod: (i have no control over myself)

[personal profile] sweetmotherofgod 2013-01-03 07:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh shit, guess I gotta change my plans.

[The driest tone of voice, which probably does nothing to conceal the tension in the way she holds herself and doesn't know where to put her hands because she's kind of afraid she's going to fall off. It gets worse when he starts moving, though she manages not to actually suck in a breath, but he speeds up and clearly knows what he's doing - not that she ever really doubted it - and she relaxes by degrees.]

How's it feel?

[Which is a lot more dignified than do you like it do you like it huh huh huh?]
sweetmotherofgod: (great pate mom)

[personal profile] sweetmotherofgod 2013-01-03 09:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Jerk.

[She would have liked to hear it, but what she does hear is enough for that response to come out warm and affectionate. She turns her head towards him even though she's still a little too wary of this passenger deal to actually turn it far enough to see him. Wouldn't do to spoil the moment by overbalancing them.

There's a whole bunch of things she wants to say - I'm glad you like it and it's good to hear you happy and I've missed you, but what actually comes out is:]


Can you go faster?
sweetmotherofgod: (Default)

[personal profile] sweetmotherofgod 2013-01-04 09:35 am (UTC)(link)
[Luckily - or maybe unfortunately - she's distracted enough not to note the reluctance as anything strange as she hops off the bike, not quite giddy but flush-cheeked with laughter and resting a hand on his thigh for stability as she does. Slaps the button for the lift and takes a moment to look at him, and doesn't bother to hide her smile.]

You look good on there.

[He does, in a whole lot of different ways, but the ones that really matter to her are comfortable and happy. And looking ta him, for the first time in a long time, she's proud of something she's done.]
sweetmotherofgod: (let's pretend I blew up the school)

[personal profile] sweetmotherofgod 2013-01-04 07:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[God help her but that's cute. The man walks around like he owns the place and something that she considers a pretty minor compliment and definitely not something he doesn't already know still draws that kind of reaction? Cute. There's a brief moment of worry when the lift arrives - this is going to be awful, isn't it, she's not a fan of the lifts at the best of times but right now the two of them in an enclosed space seems like a terrible idea - but he's got that too, and she drops gratefully into a crouch on the other side of the bike. Watches his hand making its tour around the different mechanisms at first, but pretty soon she's just watching his face as he talks.

It's easy to pretend, like this. To listen to the familiar cadence of his voice, the way his face moves when he's talking about something he knows and cares about. It's a good while before she becomes aware of the soft sort of smile she's wearing and tries to rearrange it into something neutral, something safer.]


Wish I could say I had more to do with putting it together, but I was mostly playing fetch for the materials. It's amazing what they'll let you take from engineering if you tell 'em Tony Stark sent you.
sweetmotherofgod: (I knew that loose was too noose)

[personal profile] sweetmotherofgod 2013-01-05 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
[Not bored, no. She's interested in the way things work, something born from necessity (raised by a single parent on a freelance writer's income, replacing something that could be repaired instead had always been out of the question) that had grown into a sense of satisfaction about being able to fix things, knowing that she could take something apart and it would still work after she put it back together. Really the only thing that keeps her from gazing in rapt attention is that she's been so worried about him that seeing him this way is like rain on parched soil. The bike can wait.

Then, of course, the nasty little though bubbles up that he might be okay for the most part. That it's her presence, hurt and tiptoe-careful, that makes him edgy and odd. Damn. She takes a breath, snaps herself out of that train of thought just in time to catch the question.]


I don't know. I hope so, he's amazing. But I got the impression he's kind of a... solo act.

[A freakin' diva, actually, but she's grateful enough and likes him enough not to mind.]

I don't pay that much attention to the other departments. Is that weird?

[Is that weird, a holy vessel asks the living embodiment of a whole country while they're hunkered down on the floor of a lift in a spaceship, and she resists the urge to groan. What's weird is that she's been here long enough that she keeps forgetting it's all strange.]
sweetmotherofgod: (God has cursed me I think)

[personal profile] sweetmotherofgod 2013-01-05 09:54 am (UTC)(link)
I think my gauge for weird is broken. I just... I don't know. It's trite as hell, but we're all in this together. I feel like I should be paying more attention. [A quiet sigh, and then she's not really talking about other departments anymore.] I should be doing more to help.

[Case in point: she's only now noticing that a) his hair is much shorter than she's used to seeing it, and b)]

...is that an earring?
sweetmotherofgod: (let's pretend I blew up the school)

[personal profile] sweetmotherofgod 2013-01-07 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
[She leans forward slightly, peering. Yup, that's Hello Kitty alright. There is a tiny Hello Kitty high on his ear and it's so completely incongruous to that serious face and the deadpan tone he clarifies in that she should be laughing at him. But in a weird sort of way it's so completely him - to walk around with it with no regard for the fact that it's kind of ridiculous, it's there because he wants it there and that's all that matters - and when she does crack a smile, it's tender.]

Since when?
sweetmotherofgod: (in shadow)

[personal profile] sweetmotherofgod 2013-01-07 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
Jeez.

[Okay, his hair had been down then, and a mess. And when she'd seen him after she'd been way too preoccupied with the way it felt like he was stepping right on her heart to pay that much attention, but still. That's a long time, and it pains her that she's been removed enough that she's only noticing it now. And then he clams up, and it's... well. She's the one who's been avoiding him. If he wants to keep something back now, she can hardly complain.]

It - you're gonna think I'm making fun, but I swear I'm not - it kinda suits you.
sweetmotherofgod: (Default)

[personal profile] sweetmotherofgod 2013-01-07 08:42 am (UTC)(link)
I do.

[Japan. Right. She doesn't know what was going on there, by any means, but she knows enough to tread carefully, to ease off. If he wants her to know he'll tell her, right? Otherwise it's just an earring.]

Miffy? You lost me.

[Light, and easy, but her hand settles on the bike near to his, fingers curved in the opposite direction, not touching but waiting.}

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