Ughhh. [but, considering all his other conversations right now, this one is the least terrifying, so he leaps into it anyway.]
Like, okay. Look. I wwas just, uh, talkin' to a bunch'a people, an' they wwere makin' me upset, an' usually, wwhat you do, is, you go an' like. Talk to people wwho aren't gonna upset you, or somethin'. Soooo. You're like, the person I picked to fill in for a kismesis, since I don't havve one, but I wwasn't like, gonna fuckin' proposition you or somethin'. I just, yeah. You sound, uh. ... Drunk, like me. So it's like, completely fuckin' dumb, and, and you're dumb. Yeah.
I don't wwant anythin', that's just it, I just wwanted to fuckin' hassle you an' not deal wwith fuckin' crazy intense talks about dumb shit that I can't fuckin', even handle, because I'm drunk. An' stuff. Ugh, couldn't you havve just, fuckin' like, insulted me an' shit like a real friend wwould in this tryin' fuckin' time?!
That's real fuckin' creativve, jeeze. An' evven if you wwere feasibly capable'a bein' caliginous, wwhich you aren't, because you're fuckin' stupid, an', an' shit, I wwouldn't touch you wwith a fuckin' twwenty foot support beam. So don't fuckin' wworry about that fuckin' shit.
Yeah, I'm not gonna try doin' any'a that shit. I'd probably end up gettin' a skin infection touchin' your greasy ass hair, anywway. An' UUUGH I can't believe I havve to explain evverythin', also, nevver say Alternian wwords evver, your accent is horrendous. It's wwhat black romance is, bein' like, fuckin'... hatin' on each other an' shit.
No, I'm the Alternian wwho fuckin' helped create the Earth, thank you vvery fuckin' much. An' you might wwanna look into somethin' other'n wwhatevver you're usin', 'cos, it isn't doin' you any favvors.
[Hear that? That's the sound of one (1) device being hurled across a tiny room. Because he is a mature, responsible adult, and only has a thousand years of attempted adulthood under his belt.
Turns out hurling tiny devices isn't nearly as satisfying as punching in faces.]
Didn't even crack...
[While he wonders over it, aloud, to himself, he's a bit too high to care about the fact that whatever he says will be transmitted.]
Wwhat the fuck wwas that?? [and if there's nothing in response with that, he'll assume it was indeed thrown and yell again,] Seriously, assfuck, wwhat the fuck!
Soooo... wwhat, you fuckin' threww your comm? Good fuckin' job, asshole, if you broke that you'd be fuckin' useless to evveryone. Wwhy the fuck wwould you punch me?
[YEP. No regrets. And, hey, he'd thrown it before. Many befores, really. It's somewhat satisfying, the ability to hurl something and not worry about it breaking. If he ever gets back to Earth, you bet he'll try to bring that technology right to Philips.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Guess not... [Please, someone bring him popcorn.] Tell me 'bout it.
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Like, okay. Look. I wwas just, uh, talkin' to a bunch'a people, an' they wwere makin' me upset, an' usually, wwhat you do, is, you go an' like. Talk to people wwho aren't gonna upset you, or somethin'. Soooo. You're like, the person I picked to fill in for a kismesis, since I don't havve one, but I wwasn't like, gonna fuckin' proposition you or somethin'. I just, yeah. You sound, uh. ... Drunk, like me. So it's like, completely fuckin' dumb, and, and you're dumb. Yeah.
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And then it doesn't really make any lick of sense. So he's not.. getting fucked... (good)... and he's - okay no what. Drunk dial, then.]
Kid, just say what y'want... 'Cause I don't understand any a-that.
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long
long
pause.]
So y'wanna bicker... [And apparently he answers for Eridan, because he's just that guy.] Okay. I like that. An' you're an asswipe.
Still not gonna fuck you.
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That's real fuckin' creativve, jeeze. An' evven if you wwere feasibly capable'a bein' caliginous, wwhich you aren't, because you're fuckin' stupid, an', an' shit, I wwouldn't touch you wwith a fuckin' twwenty foot support beam. So don't fuckin' wworry about that fuckin' shit.
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Then I'll break your nose.
What's a caliginous.
[Yep, that's caliginous in a Dutch accent. Spoilers: it sounds TERRIBLE.]
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[Wait hey no, shut the fuck up, his accent might get laughed at but hell is he going to let this one kid laugh at it.]
My accent is fine. You're the freak who ain't from Earth.
[Black what. One of these days he'll ask about it. Today is not that day.]
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Bullshit.
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Turns out hurling tiny devices isn't nearly as satisfying as punching in faces.]
Didn't even crack...
[While he wonders over it, aloud, to himself, he's a bit too high to care about the fact that whatever he says will be transmitted.]
Hm.
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[Which, in his head, totally counts as an explanation. At least for now.]
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[YEP. No regrets. And, hey, he'd thrown it before. Many befores, really. It's somewhat satisfying, the ability to hurl something and not worry about it breaking. If he ever gets back to Earth, you bet he'll try to bring that technology right to Philips.]
'Cause I wanted you t'stop whining.
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sorry got smacked with a virus or idek food poisoning something
[Puh-lease.]