[welcome to the most slurring stream of insults you will ever hear]
That's fuckin' right, your hair. It's fuckin' stupid. Like, so fuckin' stupid, an' you're stupid, an' your rabbit's only like. Like. LIKE. Kinda okay as far as fuckin fluffbeasts go, but evven then it's like, amazzingly better than you because its fur isnt stupid like YOURS IS.
Loadwick is okay he's fine, wwhatevver, you, you're just, dumb. You have a dumb hairstyle an' a dumb face an' this is totally fuckin' borin' you're supposed to be more fuckin' call- cal- calig'nous or somethin' right noww, UGH.
Calig'nous!!! [acting like he's the fucking moron here, not eridan] C'mon, I'm fuckin'... tired, an' evveryone is makin' me feel like shit, an' stuff, so the least you could... could fuckin' do, is make me feel better by bein' tradin',, uhhh, case-tic bars wwith me! Asshole!
[That fucking tone, he can't stand it. Insubordinate, and from a kid. He doesn't do kids very well. Never has. All his experience is with Trade Empires and unmitigated control. And thus begins the resurgence of his Colonial Tone.]
I don't owe you a damned thing - 'specially when I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about, kid.
[Okay he's sitting up and lighting a cigarette now.]
So spit it out.
[That brokes no arguments. He expects an explanation, and an explanation now.]
LMAO HEY ERIDAN IS NOT JUST A KID!!!!!!! hes a toddler tbh...
[eridan sighs so exasperatedly it can be heard from space (HAHAAHAHAHA)]
Oh my god, wwhy am I alwways, fuckin'... gotta explain evverythin' around here, ugh. Youuuu. Are supposed t'be like. Fuckin'. Respondin' to my insults in kind, all... fuckin' tart an' shit, an' wwe're supposed to point out howw much wwe fuckin'... hate each other an' shit, evven though, okay. I don't, like, fuckin' hate you, hate you, but you're the closest I'vve got to a fuckin', like, black romance here, so I'm tryin' to keep myself from gettin'... fuckin'...
You evver talk to a bunch'a people an' start, like, talkin' about dumb shit you don't wwant to talk to an' need a pick-me-up? That's wwhat this is. [Eridan makes a kind of aghast noise.] Aww, fuck, man, I'm fuckin' usin' you. That sucks. I'd be pissed if I wwere you.
[Christ, he needs a drink, given the wall of noise and nonsense he's assaulted with. Or maybe getting high would work. That next snick? Totally the snick of a joint flaring to life.]
Don't need to point out how annoyin' you are, though. Waste of time.
[What is a black romance and should he roll with this? His newly-high self says he should roll with this.]
[Well, since he's up, and high, and feeling generous even if he doesn't get it, entirely. And he heard "romance" and hell no. Better set that straight.]
You're kinda young for me, kid... An' uh. Weird lookin'.
Ugh, I already said I wwasn't evven like, actually interested in, in you or wwhatevver, I wwas sayin' it... metaphorically, like, fuck you for being a jackass wwho doesn't understand wwhat class an' handsomeness is, get out. That kind a "fuck you", not like, the other one, god, don't you understand anythin'?
Ughhh. [but, considering all his other conversations right now, this one is the least terrifying, so he leaps into it anyway.]
Like, okay. Look. I wwas just, uh, talkin' to a bunch'a people, an' they wwere makin' me upset, an' usually, wwhat you do, is, you go an' like. Talk to people wwho aren't gonna upset you, or somethin'. Soooo. You're like, the person I picked to fill in for a kismesis, since I don't havve one, but I wwasn't like, gonna fuckin' proposition you or somethin'. I just, yeah. You sound, uh. ... Drunk, like me. So it's like, completely fuckin' dumb, and, and you're dumb. Yeah.
I don't wwant anythin', that's just it, I just wwanted to fuckin' hassle you an' not deal wwith fuckin' crazy intense talks about dumb shit that I can't fuckin', even handle, because I'm drunk. An' stuff. Ugh, couldn't you havve just, fuckin' like, insulted me an' shit like a real friend wwould in this tryin' fuckin' time?!
That's real fuckin' creativve, jeeze. An' evven if you wwere feasibly capable'a bein' caliginous, wwhich you aren't, because you're fuckin' stupid, an', an' shit, I wwouldn't touch you wwith a fuckin' twwenty foot support beam. So don't fuckin' wworry about that fuckin' shit.
Yeah, I'm not gonna try doin' any'a that shit. I'd probably end up gettin' a skin infection touchin' your greasy ass hair, anywway. An' UUUGH I can't believe I havve to explain evverythin', also, nevver say Alternian wwords evver, your accent is horrendous. It's wwhat black romance is, bein' like, fuckin'... hatin' on each other an' shit.
No, I'm the Alternian wwho fuckin' helped create the Earth, thank you vvery fuckin' much. An' you might wwanna look into somethin' other'n wwhatevver you're usin', 'cos, it isn't doin' you any favvors.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crying wait I mean voice
Okay, no. Wrong question. This is more broad in scope, because. What.]
The hell?
uugh VOICE TOO he will always answer voice with voice
That's fuckin' right, your hair. It's fuckin' stupid. Like, so fuckin' stupid, an' you're stupid, an' your rabbit's only like. Like. LIKE. Kinda okay as far as fuckin fluffbeasts go, but evven then it's like, amazzingly better than you because its fur isnt stupid like YOURS IS.
Strela what did you do to that purpletext. Rude.
My hair's - [Like that for a reason but then there was an insult to the rabbit and aw hayl naw, bunnies over hairdos always.]
Lodewijk is the best fuckin' thing on the entire damn ship. Ain't just okay, so fix it.
[And off on the sidelines... Lodewijk could not give less of a fuck. The little guy is already sleeping.]
Terrible things :c my baby has an identity crisis!!!
At least it's fun.
[Wait what.]
Cal-what?
fuck yeah it is!
btw highlighting is good
He doesn't do kids very well. Never has. All his experience is with Trade Empires and unmitigated control.
And thus begins the resurgence of his Colonial Tone.]
I don't owe you a damned thing - 'specially when I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about, kid.
[Okay he's sitting up and lighting a cigarette now.]
So spit it out.
[That brokes no arguments. He expects an explanation, and an explanation now.]
LMAO HEY ERIDAN IS NOT JUST A KID!!!!!!! hes a toddler tbh...
Oh my god, wwhy am I alwways, fuckin'... gotta explain evverythin' around here, ugh. Youuuu. Are supposed t'be like. Fuckin'. Respondin' to my insults in kind, all... fuckin' tart an' shit, an' wwe're supposed to point out howw much wwe fuckin'... hate each other an' shit, evven though, okay. I don't, like, fuckin' hate you, hate you, but you're the closest I'vve got to a fuckin', like, black romance here, so I'm tryin' to keep myself from gettin'... fuckin'...
You evver talk to a bunch'a people an' start, like, talkin' about dumb shit you don't wwant to talk to an' need a pick-me-up? That's wwhat this is. [Eridan makes a kind of aghast noise.] Aww, fuck, man, I'm fuckin' usin' you. That sucks. I'd be pissed if I wwere you.
a;glkjag;l
Don't need to point out how annoyin' you are, though. Waste of time.
[What is a black romance and should he roll with this? His newly-high self says he should roll with this.]
So. Like me an' Spain.
toddler with a tiara
Ugh, a'course you havve a fuckin' kisme...sis... ugh, of course. Evveryone fuckin' does, evven fuckin' humans.
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[Well, since he's up, and high, and feeling generous even if he doesn't get it, entirely. And he heard "romance" and hell no. Better set that straight.]
You're kinda young for me, kid... An' uh. Weird lookin'.
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Not fuckin' you... You're - what, twelve? Ain't into that.
[Though just for the record:]
... ain't into class, either.
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Guess not... [Please, someone bring him popcorn.] Tell me 'bout it.
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Like, okay. Look. I wwas just, uh, talkin' to a bunch'a people, an' they wwere makin' me upset, an' usually, wwhat you do, is, you go an' like. Talk to people wwho aren't gonna upset you, or somethin'. Soooo. You're like, the person I picked to fill in for a kismesis, since I don't havve one, but I wwasn't like, gonna fuckin' proposition you or somethin'. I just, yeah. You sound, uh. ... Drunk, like me. So it's like, completely fuckin' dumb, and, and you're dumb. Yeah.
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And then it doesn't really make any lick of sense. So he's not.. getting fucked... (good)... and he's - okay no what. Drunk dial, then.]
Kid, just say what y'want... 'Cause I don't understand any a-that.
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long
long
pause.]
So y'wanna bicker... [And apparently he answers for Eridan, because he's just that guy.] Okay. I like that. An' you're an asswipe.
Still not gonna fuck you.
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That's real fuckin' creativve, jeeze. An' evven if you wwere feasibly capable'a bein' caliginous, wwhich you aren't, because you're fuckin' stupid, an', an' shit, I wwouldn't touch you wwith a fuckin' twwenty foot support beam. So don't fuckin' wworry about that fuckin' shit.
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Then I'll break your nose.
What's a caliginous.
[Yep, that's caliginous in a Dutch accent. Spoilers: it sounds TERRIBLE.]
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[Wait hey no, shut the fuck up, his accent might get laughed at but hell is he going to let this one kid laugh at it.]
My accent is fine. You're the freak who ain't from Earth.
[Black what. One of these days he'll ask about it. Today is not that day.]
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Bullshit.
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sorry got smacked with a virus or idek food poisoning something