[It comes on a laugh, quiet and wry, because it's sweet of him - it really is - but she doesn't actually want him there for the part that scares her the most. There's an awful lot of shame and disgust still bubbling away inside of her over new lopsided frame, and the thought of exposing it without being able to carefully monitor his reaction is terrifying despite her being reasonably sure that's not even what he meant. It's not like surgery is a spectator sport, the don't just let people hang out in the operating room.
...they don't, right?]
It's not - I'm sure he is. I mean, I'm not dead. And he was really professional when I woke up. It's not that.
It's... hard for me to be okay with the idea of somebody changing something about me when I can't control it. Especially a doctor. I don't - have good memories. Of doctors.
no subject
[It comes on a laugh, quiet and wry, because it's sweet of him - it really is - but she doesn't actually want him there for the part that scares her the most. There's an awful lot of shame and disgust still bubbling away inside of her over new lopsided frame, and the thought of exposing it without being able to carefully monitor his reaction is terrifying despite her being reasonably sure that's not even what he meant. It's not like surgery is a spectator sport, the don't just let people hang out in the operating room.
...they don't, right?]
It's not - I'm sure he is. I mean, I'm not dead. And he was really professional when I woke up. It's not that.
It's... hard for me to be okay with the idea of somebody changing something about me when I can't control it. Especially a doctor. I don't - have good memories. Of doctors.