handelaar: (gimme a light)
Nederland ([personal profile] handelaar) wrote2012-01-10 08:17 pm
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Ataraxion app.



PLAYER INFORMATION
Your Name: Alyssa | Derp
OOC Journal: [livejournal.com profile] tinediserp
Under 18? If yes, what is your age?: Nope, 24.
Email + IM: [gmail] tiniestderp | [twitter] tiniestderp | most quickly contacted via PM though
Characters Played at Ataraxion: N/A

CHARACTER INFORMATION
Name: The Netherlands.
Canon: Axis Powers Hetalia.
Original or Alternate Universe: Original Universe.
Canon Point: Modern day.
Number: 026 or RNG is fine.

Setting: Draw a circle, there's the earth.

History: In the 1400s, the term “Nederlanden” was first used to describe the area where the modern low countries lie, and it would be another century before the provinces that now make up the Netherlands were united in any manner. Despite this, the character of the Netherlands is a teen by the time he trades with Hanseatic cities in 1400s, and a child during what is probably the 1000s. Because of this, I’m glossing over history before his first appearance in the strips, even though he was probably “around” prior to that.

Before 1000 A.D.


The area was sparsely occupied by various Germanic tribes until the Romans showed up in 57 B.C. They ruled for four centuries or so, and the biggest impact was the division of local tribes into two different populations, one under Roman rule below the Rhine and another above. The area at the time was largely inundated by the sea and swampy, and just not terribly important to the empire.

By the 7th century both populations had converted to Christianity, though some pagan beliefs and rituals persisted until the High Middle Ages. Frankish kings took over much of the area and in the 800s it became part of the Carolignan Empire. Around the same time Viking raids began and lasted for two hundred years, though not much was done about it by either the Carolignan kings nor those of the later Holy Roman Empire. Again, it was generally an ignored corner of the empire (with an exception of the city of Nijmegen), and for the most part local areas were self-governing and controlled by feudal lords or city republics with minimal interference from the king.

1000 - 1400: Rapid growth and advancement.


As a child, the Netherlands was mostly left alone to do his own thing, and spent time farming, fishing, and digging ditches to drain all that damn water away so that he could do more farming. His earliest appearance seems to be from around the turn of the millinium, and at that point he was pretty much the HRE’s backwoods bog - that quiet scrawny kid who does his own quaint little hobbies in the corner and doesn’t cause much of a ruckus. Every once in a while soldiers were sent off to help with a crusade, and his citizens had to pay taxes, but for the most part it was a peaceful, if slightly lonely life for him as a kid. His territory was passed back and forth between people a lot, but no one had much to do with him once they owned him.

He was busy with the agricultural revolution, working in the fields one day in his dirty patch-ridden clothes, when his little sis Belgium came up and invited him over. Now at the time Flanders was rich as balls, but Ned didn't seem to realize it - as soon as he got to her place, he was struck dumb, because - whoa. His sister had it made and he’d just been poking a stick in the ground.

And thus began his transformation into the miserly bastard we know today.

After this event he became much more ambitious, and began to think that the way to achieve anything worthwhile was through working hard to gather money and material wealth. Major land reclamation began, and all over people use new technologies to increase arable land and to do more on said land. Trade increased, population increased. The kid himself shot up like a weed - in the 1200s the windmill was invented, and with it more land could be drained, reclaimed from the sea.

There was still no real centralized government, and the area remained a patchwork of kingdoms, counties, and principalities... but the leaders of those areas started to initiate their own reclamation projects, draining polders, building dikes along the oceans and rivers, and so on. The feudal lords squabbled among themselves, but they remained just that - squabbles.

Late in the 1200s, Utrecht and several other cities in favorable trade areas became increasingly important, a little trading post called Amsterdam was established and began to grow, and the cities themselves started to gain more power than the lords controlling the territory. Regional political positions became more prestigious, and the title of the count of Holland eventually emerged as the most prestigious of all. Squabbles over that title escalated into the Hook and Cod wars, and in an attempt not to bore everyone: after almost 150 years of nonsense some important French dude with the title the Duke of Burgundy (Philip the Good) got invited to take over, so he did.

Burgandian and Habsburg Rule.


The low countries all got passed around and inherited between the Burgandian hotshots of Europe for a while, and in the meantime Netherlands doesn’t really care much. He could pretty much do what he wanted to, still, and he had his siblings around to boot. So he focused on building up trade instead, and whoever happened to rule at the time usually stuck up for Dutch trading as well. He was a teenager by this point and more than ready to prove himself, but political power wasn't (and still isn’t) really his thing. Money was. But he’ll do whatever it takes to earn money, so if he has to become more powerful to earn more, so be it. He strong-armed (er, built a bunch of boats and bullied) his way into being able to trade with the Baltic countries for grain and herring, despite how much most of the Hanseatic League hated his guts. Then he immediately turned around and sold the cheap grain to France and Germany, causing Poland and Lithuania to mope about how they couldn't sell their own grain anymore. When they asked him how he did it, all he had to say was "Trade secret." He did something similar with their herring - bought it for cheap, salted it, sold it for way more.

With all of these business schemes, Dutch cities became competitive with their nearby Belgian counterparts, and the rest of Europe began to take notice.

In 1506 Charles V inherited the Low Countries, and in 1516 he inherited the Spanish Empire as well, uniting them all under one crown. In Hetalia terms, this means that Netherlands suddenly moved in with Spain, along with his siblings.

Charles was born and raised in present-day Belgium, and while he ruled things are okay between the nations politically, though Netherlands himself did not care for Spain. He didn't like the man’s personality, nor did he like staying there when he could have been doing something less time-wasting and more money-making. He wasn't very involved in family life at the house, usually lurking in the background with Belgium, stoically observing idiotic antics between Spain and Italy Romano, or simply was somewhere else entirely, doing his own business. But despite not liking it, he still hung around.

It was only when Spanish rule began impinging on his own ambitions and his own people that he became annoyed enough to do something about it and break away. Charles V abdicated, and Phillip II took over, at about the same time the Protestant Reformation was sweeping the Netherlands. And it happened in a big way, with groups destroying Catholic statues and icons in churches across the provinces. Catholic Spain didn't approve, naturally, and Bad Inquisitiony Things started happening, as well as heavier taxation. All of this pisses Netherlands off enough to try to “beat Spain up” - for 80 years. Beginning in 1609, there was a 12 year lunch break truce in the middle of this war, because both places were busy with other things and agreed that they were wearing each other out. In agreeing to the truce, Spain basically conceded that the United Provinces were now independent. During this time... Ned approaches Spain and sells him supplies and provisions - they might be enemies, but money is more important than it coming back to bite him in the ass, y’know.

Initially, Belgium joined him in the fight and all 17 provinces rebelled against the Spanish crown; however, most of Belgium was still Catholic, and 11 years later, in 1579, they broke away and decided to stay under Spanish rule. Netherlands was hurt and pissed that his own sister would stay with that guy and that she broke her word - as a guy who places a premium on keeping a promise and who holds a mean grudge, the two of them were on bad terms for a Very Long Time afterward. Essentially he ignored her and threw himself into his own affairs, though when many of the non-Catholic workers in Antwerp moved to Amsterdam and his port eclipsed hers economically, he felt pretty vindicated... even though the exodus of non-Catholics tanked Belgium’s economy for a while. He was still butthurt about her leaving, and when he suddenly became one of the most important, powerful nations in the world, it was schadenfreude at its finest.

So about that newly-acquired status, now known as the Dutch Golden Age! The Dutch Republic was now tops in the world in regards to trade, economics, science, (naval) military, and painting. He focused on rebuilding and further trading. The VOC, or Dutch East India company, was established in 1602. It was the first multinational corporation, nearly a country in its own right, and spurred the creation of the first stock exchange. Amsterdam turned into the most important trading port in northern Europe. One only needs a list of names to prove that painting was tops: Rembrandt, Vermeer, Jan Steen, Frans Hals, countless others. The shipbuilding industry was better than ever. The sciences, especially philosophy (at the time a science), physics, mathematics, cartography and mapmaking, flourished.

Shipbuilding and cartography were especially important, as Dutch ships were sailing all around the world, discovering places as far away as New Zealand, establishing colonies in the Indies, Africa, South America, and of course North America. New Amsterdam, which would become NYC, is established. According to Finland in the strips, the Netherlands came and kicked him and Sweden out by force.

In 1609, formal Japanese trade relations were established, and by 1640 the two got along well enough that when Japan went into isolation and kicked all other nations out, the Netherlands got an exclusive trade monopoly. Though the Dutch were relegated to the artificial island of Dejima to trade, information on the western world was still exchanged.

In 1648 the Peace of Westphalia ended the 30 Years’ War the Netherlands (and much of Europe) had been embroiled in.

Decline, war, and revolution.


The peace didn't last long. Both France and England felt threatened by Dutch dominance, and the late 1600s saw three wars with England and one with France. There was an additional war in the Baltic, and the Netherlands sided with Denmark against Sweden, afraid of higher shipping taxes should the Swedish win.

Needless to say, supporting these wars was financially draining, and frequently the treaties that ended the wars resulted in compromises though which the Dutch slowly lost their power. By the end of them England had the strongest navy in the world and was ready to become the next trade empire.

There was one more Anglo-Dutch war at the end of the 1700s, and by then there was discontent brewing all over Europe. The Netherlands was no exception. The noble and merchant classes retained a high standard of living and the poor remained, well, poor. And there were a lot of poor, as economic fortunes slowly began sliding.

The French Revolution spurred Dutch citizens into action, but they’d barely established their own Batavian Republic when the French themselves swept in and took over. In 1806 the French invaded, and Napoleon made his brother, Louis Bonaparte, the new ruler of the new Kingdom of Holland. Louis wasn’t exactly liked, but he did put Dutch interests before French ones - this eventually pissed off Napoleon, who kicked him out and decided he’d just make himself emperor and integrate the whole damn country into his own empire. There.

(Oh, guess what: other than trying to get those pesky Dutch from thwarting his trade blockades with their pesky smuggling for profit, the guy kind of -

wait for it -

ignored the place.)

Kingdom of the Netherlands.


Once the war was over and Napoleon was sent away, Britain, Austria, and especially Russia wanted a more powerful country to border France to the north, and as such handed Belgium over to the Kingdom of the Netherlands. Suddenly, Netherlands was living with his siblings again, and for him it was both exciting and rather awkward. He had gone from the top of the world to being a rather poor country, and of course Belgium was around now instead of then. (Remember the part where she started all that get-rich nonsense? Yeah. Feels bad man. He’s still too proud to admit it, but he was a little ashamed of his situation at the time.) This is entirely headcanon, but it’s during this time he acquired his rabbit in an attempt to feel less weird in his own house, and secretly to give Belgium something to play with since he was both busy and, well, emotionally distant. Also because he fucking LOVES rabbits, he’d always wanted one. He named his rabbit Lodewijk - he thinks it's funny. He also sucks at jokes.

Due to a variety of factors, including religious and economic differences as well as the Belgians feeling underrepresented, that arrangement didn’t work out. Belgium had its own revolution and broke away in 1830... the Netherlands didn’t acknowledge it as a separate country until eight years later. In the comic it’s described as a fight between long-estranged siblings. They’re very different people, and couldn’t find a compromise (though I would place more blame on Netherlands acting like a stubborn ass and thinking his way was right, refusing to listen, acting distant, the works). Again, Netherlands was upset that she’d left him, and for a long time things were straight-up icy from his end. Instead of trying to work things out between them, he threw himself into his work, for as his rabbit (yes, his rabbit) put it to Japan's dog - “it seems he’s getting lonely because of all that, hence him being all busybody”.

The country itself went into something close to a period of isolation - trade continued, but they became neutral in all wars and generally stayed out of international affairs as they worked on rebuilding and restructuring the government into a parliamentary democracy with a constitutional monarch, and getting the economy back on its feet.

As usual, there was an exception for Japan. In 1837 William II implored Japan to open up its borders, and it was pretty much ignored. In the strips, Netherlands saw that Japan couldn't hold out for long against America’s attempts to be friends, and (supposedly) in 1852 traveled with his rabbit to see Japan and convince him to open up his borders. Which. Didn't work at all. He had a diplomatic discussion with his friend, which ultimately degraded into Japan hiding in his futon while Netherlands poked at him, repeating “open your borders” over and over.

However he was right, and in 1854 Japan agreed to open itself to America, and a lackey delivered the news to Netherlands at his own home. He was obviously surprised for a moment, but only responded with “gimme a light [to smoke with]”, as is typical Netherlands when something upsets him.

19th century and beyond.


Nothing too exciting happened until WWI, and even then the Netherlands was neutral, though Belgium was invaded. Naturally, he worried, even though they’re not on the best of terms personally - really, really bad shit was going down in Belgium. There wasn't much he could do. Not only was he neutral, there were food shortages in his own country, and the Germans built a 300-km long electric fence all along the Belgian-Dutch border, to keep anyone from crossing. (True to form, though, the Netherlands dealt in smuggling supplies to whoever wanted to pay, despite proclaiming neutrality.)

Afterward the Great Depression hit the country and lasted longer than it did in much of Europe. There were more food shortages, and more riots. Somehow the government scraped up enough money to start building a dike to protect the country from the North Sea, though, and the Afsluitdijk was completed in 1932.

WWII came around and the country attempted to remain neutral, but Germany invaded and bombed most of downtown Rotterdam flat to the ground. The occupation began, the royal family fled to England and then Canada, and for the first few years things were... okay, as far as being occupied goes. (Except for Dutch Jews - 75% of the population perished, most in concentration camps.) There was the occasional bombing from allied forces, but generally the war was being fought in other areas of Europe. It was near the end of the war, when Germany started feeling pressured by the allies, that Shit Got Bad. They became more controlling and began stripping the country of resources for their own war effort. Resentment formed. The Allies began a push into the country in the fall of 1944, and Dutch railway workers went on strike to aid in the Allied effort. The allied efforts were thwarted, winter set in harsh and early, and the Nazis retaliated by banning all rail transport throughout the occupied areas of the country.

The winter of 1944-1945 is called the Hongerwinter - no food or fuel could be shipped to the crowded western cities, and 18,000 people died due to starvation. By the time spring came, rations were down from 2200 grams of bread per week to 400. People ate anything they could find, and some burned their own furniture for warmth.

In the Spring the Allies began pushing in again, and finally the country was liberated by Canadian (and some British and Polish) forces on May 5, now known as Liberation Day. The Netherlands still sends 10,000 tulips to Canada each spring as thanks for both that and for providing shelter for the royal family. After the war, the country was a wreck. The next few years, crops failed, and in 1953 a huge flood struck, causing 450 million Euro worth of damage and instigating a massive dike and dam project called the Delta Works. A lot of rebuilding had to be done, both structurally and in society - the Pillarisation system of the 1800s, where each religious section of society was segregated, was largely broken down during the 1960s. Under pressure from the United States, the Dutch withdrew from their former Indonesian colonies - Netherlands himself was very torn over this, as he hates losing people he’s posessive, though logically he knew it was a long time coming.

Today the Netherlands has granted independence to almost all of its colonial holdings, and is known as a tolerant, modern, peaceful country with an international outlook and a prospering economy. In recent years this tolerance has come under question within the country, with a right-leaning (by Dutch standards mind you) political leadership, stricter immigration and drug policies, and mixed views on the Islamic community.

In the modern day he’s mellowed out a bit compared to how he used to be - this is not to say that he’s mellow, exactly, but he’s mellower. He’s still a solemn, grumpy, neurotic, worrywart grudge-hoarder who’s obsessed with the bottom line, but there are more things he’ll let slide and he’s over his grudges enough to hang out with Belgium and Spain on a regular basis. If they bother him enough, that is. 60 years later, he also has perfectly normal conversations and trade relations with Germany (though don’t ask about football), and in fact, Germany is an extremely important trade partner.

Personality: So he’s a solemn, grumpy, neurotic, worrywart grudge-hoarder who’s obsessed with the bottom line. Also he likes bunnies, cleaning, and gardening. The end.

The TL;DR version, though:

He’s a straightforward, hardworking, practical guy who values these traits in others. He’s blunt and direct to the point of rudeness, but if you can’t take it, you’re probably not worth his time anyway.

That is, until emotions get involved. He sucks at the emotional shit, and tries to avoid directly addressing it at all if he can, brushing off negative feelings with a vague reply (“Give me a light.”) or by throwing himself into good, hard work and ignoring the problem. He’s even bad at expressing positive feelings toward someone, as the entire time he tries to convince Japan to open his borders, he never once says “I’m worried about you,” or even something like “It would be better for you.” He lays out the facts, but never announces the underlying reason why he came.

In addition, he’s pretty quiet. He’s solemn, stoic, a "downer" in canon who internally processes the world and is rarely up for sharing these processes. Very much an introvert, not because he’s shy (though at times he has a tinge of shyness, and it’s always associated with ~emotional things~, generally he’s not) but because he doesn’t need to interact with company to be content most of the time. That said, he likes having people around, but he doesn’t care about interacting with them himself. He likes being by himself in a crowded room, if that makes sense.

As such, he’s very much an “actions, not words” kind of guy. He can think quickly on his feet if he’s only doing the thinking for himself, but if he has to coordinate multiple things and/or people he needs lots of time to plan and brood over it - if given the time he’s the “strong strategist” he’s been stated to be. He likes to keep his speech to a minimum, with the exception of a few topics he gets excited and ridiculously tl;dr about. (Rabbits, bikes, gardening, sailing, dikes dams and water, painting, flea markets and antique furniture top the list. He has somewhat surprising hobbies.)

In a similar vein, he loves a physical fight. It was part of his early canon, before he had a design, but it seems it’s still the case. He won’t provoke one himself (he’s got better things to do with his time, and he probably doesn't care enough about the argument to bother), but he won’t hold back once he’s in one and will be... more into it than your average person. He put up his fists before Spain did in the fight with France 23, and basically attacked Spain unprovoked at Halloween this year, headbutting him and ultimately biting his face in a ridiculous ragefit about Spanish vacation days.

Oh yeah, that part where he’s a stoic downer? Totally out the window when it comes to Spain. He can go from skulking in the background to irritated yelling in no time at all. Spain bugs the crap out of him, but for some reason Netherlands still hangs around and tries to keep the idiot from getting himself injured every three seconds. Weird logic you have there, Ned.

Normally though, he’s prickly and sometimes impatient, but it’s difficult to make him legitimately angry, and involves either a long, sustained obnoxious assault or hitting a nerve and hitting it good. He has almost no fuse when it comes to expressing irritation, however - it seems like he exists in a perpetual state of mild annoyance, and he has no qualms about sulking, scowling, and basically getting his grump all over the place. Now, when he does lose his temper - it’s bad, and any internal wall he has up gets knocked right down and he has a lot of internal walls. If he’s pissed, he’ll sling verbal or physical punches (or both), losing every ounce of caution he has without even thinking of the consequences.

Most of the time he’s more defensive, when threatened, than anything. He’s guarded, cautious, and extremely protective and possessive, though he'll brush off those last two traits if they're brought up as he knows it's hypocritical of him to act that way when he refuses to be tied down himself. Denmark tried to make friends with Japan during the time they had an exclusive trade agreement, and Netherlands wouldn’t even let him close, though at the time he was trading all over the globe himself. He’s very loyal to, even overprotective of, his family and anyone he has an attachment to... though, again, he sucks at showing said attachment, and will still hold grudges against them despite this loyalty. He’s much more likely to lash out at someone threatening said attachment than to address it with the person he’s attached to, which causes everyone involved a ton of grief. It also does nothing to help with his convoluted abandonment/trust issues.

Truthfully, he doesn’t really like change, but if it has to happen he wants to be the one to spearhead it. He likes being in control of situations, though nowadays he’s smart enough to know that he needs to cooperate to get things done. Well. In theory, that is. He knows he should cooperate, but he’s still a stubborn ass and will drag his heels when he’s made to do something he doesn’t want to do (he’s “a free older brother” - he does what he wants, when he wants to, and you should want what he wants because if he’s decided on it, it’s for your own good). So yeah, that lesson is still sinking in.

He’s not unwilling to admit that he’s wrong, or that someone else is/would be better at something than him - because those are just facts - but getting him to apologize for something he’s done is like pulling teeth. Especially if he’s not sorry, and many times he isn’t, because, hey, he had the best intentions in mind at the time even if it went to shit in the execution. He’s not a liar, and he probably won’t apologize for something when he only feels bad about the consequences. Even if he is sorry, an apology will be something like a gift of flowers or a suddenly-clean house, and rarely the words themselves.

As far as honesty goes, he has a rather special definition of it. He considers himself to be honest, even secretly prides himself on it, and will keep words and promises... BUT - and it’s a big BUT - watch his wording. He’s a schemer and generally he’s looking out for himself and his own. If he thinks he can get something out of you, he has no qualms about screwing you over. He’ll use vague wording and loopholes all day long, and lying by omission and misleading statements are also part of his artillery.

He tosses around a lot of insults, but he can take ‘em right back. They don’t really phase him unless you’re in the special category of “people he cares about” or “that moronic Spaniard.” Really, he probably doesn’t give much of a fuck about you unless you’re in those categories or there’s something he can get from you.

Which brings us to his strange hoarding tendencies. He’s not a materialistic guy - no brand labels, no fancy cars - in fact he’s a total cheapass. But he collects money, and things that might make him money, like his life depends on it. If he spends any at all, he only invests in permanent, valuable things. He’ll never splurge on a meal, but he might on an expensive set of durable pots and pans. That sort of thing. (Though more likely he’ll just scheme his way into getting a free expensive set of pots and pans.) He likes saving it, and it gives him great comfort to have it. It makes him worry if he has none, because many times in the past, the poorest times have also been the worst times for him.

In regards to his debated “loli” tendencies, well, I don’t play him that way. He likes younger women, sure, but of the “jailbait” variety and not the “little-girl” variety. I also don’t play him as a total pothead. He’s been shown with a joint, and he doesn’t care about using “some sorts of shady drugs”, but generally he’s seen smoking tobacco. So, he lights up sometimes (and he will totally sell you some) but it’s an occasional thing. It costs too much to smoke it often, anyway. He’s still got some of that curious world-explorer in him, so he might screw caution and poke his nose into some spacedrugs if he runs across something mild and cheap. Lastly, he does like romantic poetry, as his sister says. Like. A lot. To an embarrassing degree. As in he still has the entire Emblemata amatoria memorized embarrassing degree.


Abilities, Weaknesses and Power Limitations:
Abilities: Business, planning, shady deals and bartering. Shipbuilding, as in the wooden kind, but navigation of almost any kind and mapmaking as well. Tough and determined, confident, practical - keeps a cool head in a panic situation, usually. Has basic field medical knowledge from all those wars. There's also that entire Nation Immortality, Strength, and Resilience thing. He’s very fit, generally a big, powerful guy, and he walks and runs quickly (second-fastest of all the countries!). How he can be extremely fit and a chainsmoker like nobody’s business I can only chalk up to the previously-mentioned ~special nation powers~ Despite being a big guy, he's used to maneuvering in cramped spaces, which is probably a plus here.

Painting, gardening, football, ice skating, rabbit care, and cleaning, as far as the derpier skills go.

Double-edged: Sometimes manipulative, always stubborn, a details and not a big-picture kind of guy, pigheadedly independent, and works best through one-on-one interaction instead of team things.

Weaknesses: Easily swayed by money and bribes if they’re good enough. Not really a pleasant person to be around, and can easily wreck a good team dynamic if he doesn’t like someone in it. Paranoid, neurotic, cheap as hell, has a terrible temper if poked enough, is a total pessimist and downer. Tends to jump to conclusions - and if he doesn’t like that conclusion there will be hell to pay. Holds all the grudges. Has an oral fixation like no other and a wicked addiction to tobacco. Really. You don’t wanna see him without nicotine.

Power limitations: He’s not really immortal anymore, and not nearly as damage-proof as he used to be, either. And goddamn, how does he keep getting lost on this ship?

Inventory: His scarf; that little belt-manpurse thing he has in the image below; a wallet with 20 euro, government ID, small picture of his rabbit, and an OV-chipkaart; tin of hair wax; tall combat boots; poetry book; pouch of loose tobacco; rolling papers; cheap lighter; 3.5 grams (an eighth) of marijuana if allowed.

Appearance: This loser.

He’s tall and intimidating. I’m tossing Himaruya’s years-old and maybe no longer relevant “the tallest nations are Russia and Sweden at 185 cm” canon right out the window, which puts him standing at a more... Dutch... 193 cm. (In unrelated news I think the other two are even taller than that, despite the Dutch being the tallest people in the world.) He’s got a scar on his forehead, almost always looks serious or grumpy, and is very fit and “considerably built”. He has ashy light brown hair that he styles up with hair wax - if he doesn’t it’s a choppy, frizzy, wannabe-curled mess - and brownish-green eyes. With the exception of dem boots all the European Hetalia characters seem to own, he wears the most boring, practical clothing ever (t-shirt, trousers, short-sleeved overshirt/light jacket/winter coat, scarf in all seasons) in browns, grays, blacks, and blues.

Age: Over a thousand years old, but appears to be in his mid-20s.

AU Clarification: N/A

SAMPLES
Log Sample:
After suffering through what felt like thirty goddamn heart attacks in just as many minutes, he found a pouch of tobacco in his locker and almost snorted with a weird, unsettled sort of relief. Almost. He thought it might be too dangerous to make much noise, because he still had no idea what the hell was going on and that tattoo on his arm sent a chill down the back of his neck every time he looked at it. The corner of his mouth twitched up a little instead.

Jesus, that was just what he needed. In no time he was lighting a slapped-together cigarette right in the middle of the locker room. He stood there and sighed, still naked, arms loosely crossed, and exhaled toward the ceiling as he flicked a worried gaze over it - shit, he hadn’t thought to check it over before he stepped into the room, just the rest of the the place.

But it was just a ceiling, so he finally relaxed enough to enjoy the smoke.

So the first problem. Where was he? He didn’t remember any of this, and even worse, he couldn’t remember the last thing he was doing before he woke up in a tube of goo, blind, dazed, and thinking he was drowning. And, huh, speaking of drowning, the place kinda looked like a high-tech submarine, except massive...

Uh. Anyway. He gave his head a jerk, trying to shake off the fogginess that hadn't gone away since he'd woken up here, and moved on to the second problem: how did he get out? Just standing there like an idiot wasn’t going to solve those problems, was it. He poked around in his locker, finding a few of his possessions - fucking creepy - and two things that definitely weren’t his.

He cast a worried glance around the room again, scowling when he realized he was ashing all over the immaculately-clean floors - but he had bigger problems. He was dizzy, freezing, alone, and not sure where to go next.

"Please take the blue lift to the passenger quarters," and the gadget in his hands shut off. He huffed, tossed his spent cigarette to the side, and poked around at it some more, but only got static for his efforts.

Fine.

He’d take the fucking lift to fucking wherever.

Comms Sample: (Both text and video, because he's not a big talker.)

[The first thing he sends is a simple mass text:]

Who’s here

[That’s it. He’s not giving out anything else until he hears something back.]

---

[The comms device has obviously been set up on something, because the grumpy-looking guy on the video screen isn’t holding it - instead he’s holding a cigarette.]

If anyone’s seen an ashtray around, I need one.

[He frowns and reaches a long arm to ash into something off-screen, shifting in his seat as he brings it back, like he’s not comfortable at all in what he’s wearing.]

An’ if anyone knows where to get somethin’ else to wear, lemme know. [He takes a second to glance down and mutters something to himself that sounds a lot like "This thing sucks." Sighs and looks back up, straight at the camera.] I’ve got cash, or shit to trade for it.

[After a small grunt and another drag, his expression shifts from sulky to serious.]

Now. Someone tell me what’s goin' on.